I am absolved
To reduce confusion in a toneless medium, read in a voice of relief.
I wasted fifteen, twenty minutes agonizing tonight. And it was unwarranted. I didn't need to take it seriously. What I had worried over, those recurring lines I had worried over, were not meant for me. Such was, of course, a sidelined issue. They were merely a means of stoking an unhealthy mode of thought.
And what happened? I found out that nothing in return, outside what has already been established. The focus is another.
Was I crushed? Contrary to the streotype, no. (That is all I ever am: a Brother!) I experienced no bitterness or flare of envy. My hands shook, out of suprise for a while. But, in looking back on what was said, I smile. (And notice how much I wasn't fully listening while I dealt with this.)
So this has been resolved. But, I must remember that this is a false victory. I did not fully define the sources for my thoughts. It was an outside situation that let it flutter away.
It is a victory none-the-less. I have found that I truly can let go of the unattainable. Without destroying the foundation, no less.